Wortegem-Petegem: discobar Bizar zet een punt achter een werverlend 2018

bizarre

Gewiekst en onder het mom van ons eigen betaalbaar alternatief BI$AR heeft discobar Bizar afgelopen zaterdag in Wortegem-Petegem (dicht bij Rijsel) een punt gezet achter een hectisch jaar. Want ook wij moeten zo af en toe eens terug naar huis om te herbronnen, te bidden voor onze zieltjes, spijt te betuigen aan het thuisfront, de autobiografie van Michael Caine te lezen, Clint-Eastwood-gewijs te checken hoeveel koters we nu precies rondlopen hebben, te slapen in een kamer die kleiner is dan 100 vierkante meter en dergelijke meer.

En eigenlijk zouden we het bij deze mededeling willen laten, en volop genieten van het meer triviale, ware het echter niet dat sinds onze passage een venijnige roddel Wortegem-Petegem als een latex SM-pak in een gemene en verstikkende wurggreep heeft.

Hoe slaagt de voorzitter van het armlastige feestcomité er al voor de derde keer in slechts enkele jaren tijd in om het legendarische Discobar Bizar te strikken? Dit terwijl de rest van Vlaanderen in de kou blijft staan. De vraag stellen alleen getuigt van een ongekende kwaadwilligheid, want het is genoegzaam bekend dat Discobar Bizar nooit de details van financiële afspraken onthult! Discretie is ons motto!

Dit gezegd zijnde hebben we wel nog een vraag voor de vele aanwezigen van afgelopen zaterdag:

Kunnen jullie alsjeblief drie keer naar onderstaande boodschap van de sponsors luisteren, want in het feestgedruis zijn we ze drie keer vergeten te vernoemen terwijl we dit contractueel verplicht waren :

Volg onderstaande link voor een woordje van de sponsors

 

bizar early days

picture: Discobar Bizar archives

 

 

 

 

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Solifugia rises from the dead and drily fists the devil. Concert and CD review: Music Center Kinky Star 02.03.2017

solifugiaFirst of all a warning: this review is not for the faint hearted.

Discobar Bizar goes to great lengths for its readers. Very great lengths. So we felt the urge, after an impressive passage by the band, to embark on an uneasy adventure and explore the backstage toilet. Handkerchief, ever since Graspop Metal Meeting 1996 in the inner pocket of our leather jacket, tightly held before mouth and nose to retain a gag reflex.

Curious and inquisitive by nature Discobar Bizar wanted to find out if, how much and which grain of sandpaper the lead vocalist had eaten before the concert. We did not find any sandpaper, just a huge floating cork and Jackson-Pollock-like spattering and structures on the side of the toilet.

This goes to show, also Solifugia goes through great lengths to give the fans what they want: a primal distorted sound directly from the very depths of hell.

And that there was not a single 4-layer piece of toilet paper to be found, it strengthens us in our believe that these guys are made out of the right metal stuff. They gladly wipe their bottoms with society, police and authority at the same time.

This formation isn’t afraid of anything or anyone. Not even the Grimm Reaper himself. They lack any form of pity and human dignity. All they have to offer is an adipose sound, and a smack in your face if you ever should ask for it.

Preferably they  like to push a blunt knife even deeper in the gaping wound: ‘no more warmth to give…time to die’  Your meaningless life according to Solifugia.

Just goes to show: Stephen King, Edgar Allan Poe, Hieronymus Bosch and the guys from Morbid Angel  would do it in their pants with chattering teeth, crying like little boys who are missing their mothers, listening to the doom Solifugia spread around Friday evening in the streets of Ghent.

When all is said and done

You know you’ve lost yourself

Your will to live

A few years of existence,

eternity to spend in oblivion and nothingness

But why

Yeah, but why?

That’s what we asked ourselves when things became really dangerous.

That was when Peter, the lead vocalist, announced that he was going to fist the devil.  Luckily this was an unfortunate misunderstanding. Because one doesn’t fist the devil without far reaching and painful consequences. Many a forearm, mostly from inexperienced would be satanists have been ripped off in doing so ever since the dark ages.

In short: Solifugia is great fun for everyone with a metal heart. And The Ultimate Promise Of Evil is not a lose promise, it redeems the expectations. Live they sound like a tight rope around the neck. The perfect soundtrack for the Trump-era.

We already knew they had talent, but after their unwieldy debut Araneae Attack, and the sputtering Rampage Of Brutal Revenge, they finally are becoming  a band that effortlessly can compete with the more influential death metal and doom from the Scandinavian countries.

Buy this record!

Shocking discovery: on Trump and ancient astronauts.

A team of prominent ancient astronaut theorists have just  announced that they will be revealing some shocking discoveries on Friday, January 20, 2017, during the inauguration of Donald Trump as the 45th President of the United States.

It appears that Trump has been undergoing intensive botulinum toxin treatment to hide the wrinkles on his forehead that seem to be aligned exactly as the Carnac stones (France).

The theorists also claim that they will be able to prove conclusively that Trump’s hair is being kept tightly together by an otherworldly-like substance. Claims have been made that the substance is also effecting his thinking powers.

Furthermore it is no coincidence that a suspected alien will become the 45th president. Nr 45 being very important to aliens since it is a triangular number, an arc-cotangent irreducible number and -of course- the sixth positive integer .

Keep watching the skies is the advice of the ancient astronaut theorists.

Dear reader,

Is highly doubtful that those ancient astronaut theorists are really on the something. By now everybody knows that all things and beings in this world are the result of an intelligent interventionist God, some 6000-10,000 years ago, certainly not an alien. It is also a well established fact that man has walked the earth together with dinosaurs there can be no doubt about that.

But tags like ancient astronaut, conspiracy theories, aliens, Trump, fake news, creationism  and Justin Bieber seem to attract a lot of internet traffic.

So know that we have got your attention:

Don’t miss out on Hurricane Willem, the true story. A great online novel, a heartfelt story brought to you by Discobar Bizar in weekly episodes. And if you want to be ready for episode 3 tomorrow you need to read 1 and 2 first.

Hurricane Willem (1) english version

Hurricane Willem (2) english version